• The Inspiring Hummingbird

Being Ready VS. Not Being Ready for A Relationship

I decided I wanted to write about this for I think a couple of different reasons. One being, not just due to the fact I think it is an important topic. Especially for teens, and young adults, but also for younger kids. Yes, I know, it is probably weird to read that third part but I think it is important for them too. Not only going off of my own experiences in my life but also going off what I am seeing now in this world. I think it is important to write about in case any of those age groups stumble upon this or incase any parents read this and find that they want their children to read what I have to say in this post. I am posting this in March because I thought it might be a little cliche to talk about it in February. I don't know, that's just how I felt and I stuck with it. Haha!

When I was in elementary school (1st - 6th grade) there was no dating amongst peers, there wasn't anything about anyone dating anybody. Sure, there were crushes you had on people, but that was the extent of it. These days, there are people in elementary level grades, who are getting into "fights" with peers because of if someone likes another person, or is being questioned if they're dating so and so. I saw that happen in recent time and I thought it was so odd just because that was something that never happened at least at the school I went to. Nor was it something that I ever recall being something talked about or questioned to anyone. In my opinion, I am not sure why anyone that young would be thinking about or concerned with being in a relationship. I would expect cooties to still be a thing but haven't heard anyone say that term in a long time. I don't think anyone needs to be dating or thinking about dating that young in my opinion. Now, in middle school ages, around 7th to 8th grade was slightly different in my experience.

When I was in middle school, I do recall having crushes on people, but it was never something I pursued. There was a brief time in middle school where I almost felt like "I had to be" in a relationship and was almost made to feel like that was what you were supposed to do at that age. Purely because people in my school were in relationships and would tell me I should have a boyfriend and things like that. During that brief time, after a few small things, I finally snapped back into the realization that it was not something I needed to be interested in at that time. I had people who tried to pursue me in middle school. I had instances of my own where I said yes to something without thinking it through and went back and fixed the situation because that wasn't what I wanted. On top of those things, not only did the mistakes teach me lessons, but I also was able to decide for myself and realize that just because others around me decided to date or just because they tried to convince me to be in a relationship with someone. It did not mean I had to. In high school, I had a similar type of situation with friends but it was different than what I just mentioned. . . sort of.

From the time of middle school and through high school it is a very strange and confusing time for most people. Not just because you're growing in different ways with responsibilities and things. But, also, you're dealing with your body changing and hormones and all sorts of things thrown into the mix. It certainly is not easy in various ways. But, when you get into high school the social expectations and pressures can be and are different than that of middle school ones in some ways. When I was in high school still, which wasn't that long ago. Most of my friends had been dabbling in dating and whatnot. Whether that was dating peers in our school or dating outside of our high school, didn't matter. But, again, I was faced with some friends (not all of them) saying that I should be in a relationship and having friends trying to tell me if some guy or guys in our school liked me. However, this time around I knew now how I wanted to handle this situation. Plus, if I am being totally honest, no one in my high school interested me. I know some people have met their spouses in high school and have had a love story ever since, and that is fantastic for them! But, no one should ever feel pressured to feel like they have to have that, and no one should ever have to feel pressured to be in a relationship if they do not feel ready for one.

I think it is important for people, especially young people, to know that when it comes to dating it is ok to not pursue it at any grade level. There is nothing wrong with waiting. Do not believe anything you hear about you have to do this by this age or you're weird if you haven't done something by a certain age. I am going to say this just as a real-life example. I have never kissed anyone, I have never been in a relationship of a dating type, and there are other things too that I have not done yet. I was picked on and messed with in the past in my first year of high school by some girls, because of those things. But the thing about that is, I was happy about it. I was and am proud to know I was staying true to what I believe in and for following my heart and what I felt was right for me. Everyone is different, and one thing that may work for one person may be different for another. The fact though is that whether you choose to date in high school, middle school, or whenever. That is fine if that is what you want. If that is not what you want then that is okay too! If anyone comments about you not wanting to date yet, or just not being ready for different things yet, do not be upset. Everyone's timeline is different. Just do what is right for you and if they think it is weird how you choose to go about your life then they can think it is weird all they want. Do not feel pressured to date if you don't want to. When and if you are ready to pursue a relationship I think you will just know. I believe we all have someone out there that we are meant to be with, and I believe that when we are ready to find them the universe will know when we need to meet and cross paths with them.

At the end of the day, it can be easy to want to give into social pressures or feel down at times because maybe you feel upset others are doing things you aren't ready for. Or, maybe you're upset because you feel like peers or friends are trying to put you into a situation you're not okay with or comfortable with. When in those situations stay true to you, and do what is best for you. If you have a friend or friends who keep saying to you that you should be in a relationship or anything like that, you can always try to explain to them why you are not interested or ready for that. Especially, if you are in high school dealing with those pressures. Just know you NEVER should feel like you need to do something you're not okay with doing. Especially, when it comes to relationships of all types. Not just when it comes to dating types of relationships. Go at your own pace and do what is right for you! ALWAYS! Regardless of if it is accepted by others or not!

I hope this helps someone in some way! This was meant to be posted on March 15th, but I am getting it up now. I will see all of you in my next post! Love you!

Best regards,

The Inspiring Hummingbird!



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